Dirty Helen's Diary

[Chanel #3]

You're all trash and I'm not voting for you, Chanel. You're a trashy person and a dick. But hey, you are what you eat.


Chanel #2 and the other one, why did you never speak to me?

[Chanel #0]

u r bae

[Chanel #2]

Okay, first things first. THIS:

Apr 5, 2016 17:43:41 GMT Chanel #3 said:

I'm not voting for you, Chanel. You're a trashy person and a dick. But hey, you are what you eat.

No joke, I was laughing my ass off about that quote during my entire shift. Bless you. 

[Chanel #2]

Now let's get to this question thingamabob. 

Chanel #2 and the other one, why did you never speak to me?

Well, that's a toughie. 

I'd say there were a few conclusive reasons why you and I didn't speak a ton of times during the game. You can copy/paste my little spiel about my work life and it making me terminally depressed and antisocial from my opening statement here if you wish, but that was really only a fraction of the reasons why. Here are a few: 

1. AIM is stupid, and so am I. 

I was using the same AIM for this game and another one at the same time. I separated the contact lists for both games pretty well, but for some stupid reason, your AIM got added to the "Recent Contacts" group instead of the group for Horror, which meant that it was at the bottom of the list and never visible when I was looking to see who was online. When I eventually realized this like six rounds into the game, I tried to fix it and the frigging thing never let me change you over to the Horror group. Basically, I rarely if ever saw you online even when you were, and that's why I didn't initiate many conversations. That's a really stupid excuse, but what can I say? Sometimes the truth is stupid. 

2. I had heard that you were Chanelocidal maniac.

You wanted to be the last Chanel standing, and that meant that your strategy was probably always going to involve me getting knifed in the brain while I tried frantically tweeting for help. I mean, in retrospect, it probably would have been smarter of me to actually follow up on that information, but I'd heard enough whispers from different sources to make me think that it was probably legit. I'm not the type of person who enjoys unnecessarily blowing smoke up another person's jumper, and that puts me in an awkward position at times like that. Like, I'm sure we would have gotten along really well because you're a hilarious bitch and I love hilarious bitches, but I really don't like building up relationships that I know I can't help in-game. I like to help my friends, and if I know I can't help someone, I don't want to be like "I'm your BFF!" and then vote them out. Makes me feel like a terrible friend. So, I'd have felt like you'd have felt like I was Fakey McFakerson for bonding with you and voting you out, if that makes any sense?  

3. Chanel was feeding me a lot of the things you were saying.

This made it unwise to get super close to you for two reasons. Firstly, I didn't want to spook Chanel and make her think I was trying to edge her out by getting close to you. Secondly, if there were two of us getting information from you, then if any of that info got leaked it would automatically make me a suspect. My game was all about keeping the target far away from myself, and I wanted to make sure that if and when the crap hit the fan that Chanel would be the one in the line of fire, not me. 

4. The "KYS" joke.

Easily our most memorable conversation, but also the main reason why we didn't have many more after that. Don't get me wrong, I thought that that joke was hilarious. I figured out right away that when you came up to me asking what the acronym "kys" meant that you were trying to bait me into telling you to kill yourself so you could act furious about it. I thought it was super clever, but it also made me realize a few things. One, that you definitely saw me as someone you could trick and fool into doing things, which meant we weren't going to be great allies later on. Two, you were very clever and had a good sense of humor. Ask anybody who knows even basic psychology, and they'll tell you that clever funny people are the hardest people in the world to control. They're too subversive to like be ordered around, and they're too smart to manipulate. So I knew right off the bat that I could probably never control you or convince you to do stupid things. So, I suppose you could take that as a compliment... 

5. The fallout of the KYS joke. 

I wasn't sure if you were actually going to try to use that conversation against me to other people. As I've said before, I knew that I wasn't going to be very good at damage control in this game, which meant that I had to avoid doing damage in the first place. If you had gone around telling everybody that Chanel #2 had done this horrible terrible thing, I'd have had a seriously hard time recovering from that. So I went on the offensive, turned it into a "ZOMG Chanel #3 is making fun of my English!" moment, and tried to spin myself into a victim spot. I heard through the grapevine that you were worried about being targeted for being a bully to me during that convo. I made a point of saying that I wasn't mad about it and didn't see you as a bully of any sort, because I was quite certain that if it had turned into a me vs. you scenario I wouldn't have come out of it on top. But you obviously suspected that I was after you, and that meant that any conversations I had with you after that would be a lot trickier as a result. I would never be able to know if you fully trusted me, or whether you'd take anything I said to you and try to get me out. So after that point, I just didn't talk to you much because I didn't want to give you any ammo to use against me.


Thanks for the question, Chanel #3! Ultimately a lot of it comes down to misunderstandings and me having to compensate for my sucky social circumstances. Definitely wasn't anything personal against you, and you're definitely one of the people I'd like to catch up with after the game is over. 

But, hey, if you're still pissed then feel free to insult me, because gurl that put-down game of yours is on point.

[Brad Radwell]

Chanel #2 and the other one, why did you never speak to me?

I dont do alot of game talk through PMs because of hackers and whatnot the admins has access to pm logs and can veiw whats said. So i do alot of game stuff through aim. And i never really saw you on so alot of the people i talked to were people that came onto aim. Its not that i wouldnt of though because i did try to talk to everyone i saw online there

[Boone/Chanel #4 #2]

4. The "KYS" joke.

Easily our most memorable conversation, but also the main reason why we didn't have many more after that. Don't get me wrong, I thought that that joke was hilarious. I figured out right away that when you came up to me asking what the acronym "kys" meant that you were trying to bait me into telling you to kill yourself so you could act furious about it. I thought it was super clever, but it also made me realize a few things. One, that you definitely saw me as someone you could trick and fool into doing things, which meant we weren't going to be great allies later on. Two, you were very clever and had a good sense of humor. Ask anybody who knows even basic psychology, and they'll tell you that clever funny people are the hardest people in the world to control. They're too subversive to like be ordered around, and they're too smart to manipulate. So I knew right off the bat that I could probably never control you or convince you to do stupid things. So, I suppose you could take that as a compliment...


Ok this is actually extremely manipulative and I may actually use it in the future lmao.